Merlin's Mumbles
by story kindler
Summary: It was one of those terribly important days when the great kingdom of Camelot relied on me once again to keep her strong, a day when I found myself yet again in another bad mood and a particular someone wasn't helping with it; a day, or should I correct myself and say a week that I can irrevocably blame on non-other than Merlin.
1. Chapter 1: Spilled Milk

Merlin's Mumbles

It was one of those terribly important days when the great kingdom of Camelot relied on me once again to keep her strong, a day when I found myself yet again in another bad mood and a particular someone wasn't helping with it; a day, or should I correct myself and say a week that I can irrevocably blame on non-other than _Merlin._

I would say it all began that morning when Merlin was cleaning the milk I had accidently spilled off of the floor but let's face it, it all probably began the moment the great annoyance first stepped foot into Camelot those years ago, but I might go as far as to say it began the moment he was born. Somehow, some way our destinies always seem to cross paths more often than not; but before I get ahead of myself…

Merlin like I mentioned before was cleaning the milk off of the floor, and mumbling under his breath like he often did when he complained.

"You know _Merlin_ I would think you would have accepted your station in life by now and gotten used to cleaning up after me. After all it _is_ your job and I did apologize for my moment of clumsiness." I was annoyed and my annoyance seemed to pass to Merlin. This was the morning king Adelmund was to arrive to congratulate me on my becoming king and my marriage to Gwen but also to pay his respects to my late father Uther Pendragon. Visits like this where going to be happening all year and so far there had been four and needless to say we were tiered of them already.

"It's just sometimes Arthur I wish you could just spend a day in my life to see what I really have to deal with." Merlin said with a huff and not more than thirty seconds pass was I staring at the floor a rag in my hand and feeling considerably lighter.

I remember slowly looking up to where I should have been and there I was, staring back at me wide eyed and mouth agape.


	2. Chapter 2: Weak Knees

Merlin's Mumbles

Chapter 2:

I slowly stood to my feet and spoke to myself that was sitting in my chair.

"What is going on and who are you?"

"I'm Merlin; I don't know what's going on! Who are you?!"

I can distinctly remeber not being able to use my mouth. I was speechless.

"Who are you?" Merlin asked again; when I couldn't answer he quickly stood to his, or should I say my feet, and approached me threateningly. I stepped back.

"Answer me!" he yelled.

"Arthur" I whispered.

"A, Arthur, wha, how?" He sounded deflated; he was asking the same questions that I had.

"Merlin what did you do?" because it would have to be Merlin's doing to get us in that situation.

"Me! _I_ didn't do anything!"

It was after this that I felt my knees, that where actually Merlin's get weak. Hearing his voice when I spoke and my voice when he spoke really just made it all so very real.

"I need to sit down." And so I did across from Merlin who apparently needed to do the same. He just kept staring at me, but really now thinking back on it I must have kept staring at him as well in order to know that he was staring at me.

"You must have done _something; _after all it was you who was making a wish not five minutes ago!" Now I was yelling and if I had been able to see the face that I was barrowing I bet it was nice and red.

"I did nothing Arthur, this… that was not a real wish, trust me! I just can't understand how-" then he looked frightened and his face that was actually mine got suddenly very pale.

"What?"

"Magic, someone must have used magic…" He whispered.

We spent the better part of two hours trying to figure out what to do and why someone would do this and wondering how long it would last when of course we agreed to go see Gaius. He was surprised to hear our tale and quickly set about his room grabbing his books. After thirty to forty minuets of scanning and asking questions he came to the conclusions that he had no idea what had happened and that he needed more time to figure it out and we had to come up with "_a plan"._


	3. Chapter 3: A Plan

Merlin's mumbles

Chapter 3: A Plan

The plan was simple, keep our body switch a secret, not to be told to a soul outside of the physician's quarters not even Gwen. Sounds simple enough right? Well it wasn't at all!

We had to constantly keep our eyes and ears open for suspicious people, for the person who did this to us. But that wasn't the hard bit! You would imagine that being Merlin would be easy, all you had to do all day was be clumsy, talk a lot, complain when there was any work to be done and smile like an idiot! But that's hard to do when he's in your body already doing the same thing!

"Merlin you do know that if we are going to pull this off and not make my kingdom look like a fool in front of our visiting guest, you have to at least pretend to be me?"

"What? Act like a pra-"

"No Merlin!"

"Alright Arthur, you really don't have to worry, I won't let Camelot down and most of all I won't let you down."

He looked so serous and I believed him; but my heart suddenly jumped into my through when a page came jogging up to us as we were leaving Gaius' chambers.

"Your majesty, King Adelmund and party have arrived!"

"Yes, well, I suppose it's time for the court to assemble to greet them, be on your way" Merlin said in a voice I think was unnaturally deep.

"Arthur?"

"Yes?"

"I haven't been this nervous in a long time"

"Me either Merlin, me either."

King Adelmund had always been for as long as I can remember, a friend of my father's and supported many of his same views and ideas. He would no doubt be looking for chinks in my amour, watching me very closely and judging weather I would rule Camelot with strength, like my father before me. Already the odds were stacked up against me; I had married a servant girl, knighted peasants; making my reign already drastically different from my father's! Next they would expect me to lift the band on magic!


	4. Chapter 4: Spilled Wine

Merlin's Mumbles

Chapter 4: Spilled Wine

I dare say I will ever forget that first day, it was troublesome staying focused and acting like someone I was not and worrying if Merlin was going to say the wrong thing. I could tell he was trying his hardest because there was a light sweat upon his brow and his jaw was tight. The greetings and the well wishes on the front steps of the castle went well but still I actually got even more nervous if it was possible, because Merlin who was in my body ordered me to show king Adelmound to his chambers and for a second I blanked, I had no idea which room I had prepared for him! But again in my time of need Merlin came thought.

"I think you will enjoy your quarters during your time here, they are one of the airiest rooms in the castle" He said and then looked at me. I think I audibly breathed a sigh of relief and bowed to the king and showed him to his chambers without any error.

"Will you be needing anything else my lord?" I asked before leaving.

"No, but I do have one question, are you the same Merlin who saved King Arthur from the sorceresses' revenge all those years ago? I heard Uther rewarded him with becoming his manservant."

"Ah, y, yes my lord I am."

"Hum, well you seemed to have made a good enough servant and a loyal one. I suppose you'll do. That is all you may go."

I bowed and left in a fog, I was trying to figure out what was just said to me! But when I did after closing the doors I was angry, he had just insulted Merlin, said "he would have to do"! Merlin was the best servant I had and am sure would ever have, and he had turned his nose up at him! Merlin might not be the most talented at actually being a trained servant but he had improved over the years and beside all I really care about is his loyalty and friendship, not that I would ever say it to him.

I really should stop myself or else I'll never get finished… I am still angry. That night at the feast was defiantly worse, It should have been easy, all I had to do was keep cups from running dry, just three of them, Gwen's Merlin's and that swine of a king! I stood by watching and listening to their conversation, I was mesmerized by how well Merlin was doing! He was surprisingly good at acting like someone else, acting like me! Even Gwen didn't seem to notice.

"I am glad to see your kingdom seems to be prospering considering the recent tragedy's that have fallen upon it." King Adelmund said

"Camelot is a strong kingdom and its people are strong. As you say we are a prosperous kingdom and that dose put us in a place of envy and many covet what we have, but we always overcome." Was Merlin's cool and calm response and I dare say pride could be heard in his voice.

I didn't know if he knew that Adelmound was actually testing him but so far he had seemed to be doing well. There were many similar things said and Merlin took them head on; I was beginning to get distracted at how well he pretended to be me! I honestly never knew he had it in him to keep a secret so well, but then again there was much pressure.

Standing for long periods of time without hardly moving makes your feet sore, or maybe Merlin was past due for a new pair of boots I can't say but just when I was thinking this King Adelmund lifted his cup a signal for me to fill it and as I was filling it he said, I can hardly repeat it…

"So this particular wench was just too good to let go I see Arthur. You seemed to have made a lovely queen for Camelot my lady."

And yes I spilled the pitcher and he was not happy about that, I did it on accident but really he deserved it and more! Somehow thinking back on this past week I can't believe I ever remember this man being this horrid! I remember not liking him too well in my youth but never hating him. And there must have been a fire in my eyes because as he was spouting all manners of insults and names for stupidity Merlin stood and took me aside where no one could hear.

"Arthur, now we can't let this fool ruin everything, don't blow our cover. His words are just words and that's all."  
"I know I'm sorry I was just surprised, I didn't spill it all over him on purpose." I confessed.

"yeah well I'm glad you did either way, I know for a fact that that's not going to come clean and I'm an expert at getting out stains." He smirked. "You take the rest of the night off I can handle him, he must just be getting a bit drunk. Go see if Gaius has found anything out and if not help him we can't stay like this."

"Yeah you're telling me… "I then left and heard Merlin apologize for my clumsiness.


	5. Chapter 5: What will the marrow bring?

Merlin's Mumble's

Chapter 5: What will the marrow bring?

Surprisingly leaving the dining hall did calm me and I was off to help Gaius like Merlin said too, to be honest thinking back on this part I felt like we briefly switched roles. Him telling me what to do however practical it was had to change; all I wanted was my body. I still couldn't understand how something like this could have happened! It could have only been magic or I was dreaming… but let me not get distracted.

The closer I got to Gaius the more confidant I felt about getting to be me again, that of course didn't last longer than an hour; for when I got there to help he was still pouring over his books and without even glancing at me began to order me around, telling me to hand him "that smallish book to your left" and "here read this, see if you can find anything…" after we got nowhere and the hour was drawing late I felt my eyes get heavy but then in came Merlin bursting through the door Gwen in toe. I suddenly stood to my feet and looked back and forth between them.

"How?" She whispered.

"Arthur I'm sorry I didn't mean for-"

"Shhhh!" I hissed, and quickly ran over to close the open physician's chambers door. I could feel Gwen's eye's following me the whole time; I knew she was giving me _that look_.

"You weren't meant to tell anyone!" I growled.

""Well I didn't, it just sort, and she, and you wouldn't."

He was doing it again! Mumbling!

"Stop it with your Mumbling Merlin hasn't it got us in enough trouble?"

"Arthur I'm disappointed in you! How could you not tell me? _Me?_ I nearly-

She suddenly went very red in the face as did Merlin… and that's when I realized what must have brought Merlin to reveal himself.

"Ah yes, I suppose we were in a bit of a hurry this morning when it came to discussing things. Forgive me I should have thought better of our situation; I'm just not myself…"

"No neither am I, look have you found anything?" Merlin said sarcastically making me realize what I had just said.

"No disrespect to your Highness but Merlin will be a better help to me finding out how to reverse whatever has been done to the both of you." Gaius said making us all turn our eyes on him.

"Yes I suppose he would but he will be far too busy being me."

"I can lend an extra hand Gaius if you need it." Gwen said.

Then she gave me _the look_ again… she was defiantly angry and something told me she didn't much want to be talking to me at the moment.

Just then Merlin yawned.

"It has been a most tiresome day we should all get some sleep and work on the problem anew in the morning." Gaius' wise words came again.

"Yes, but-" Merlin began but I cut him off not thinking what he was about to say was going to be anything valuable, oh was I wrong but I didn't know it then.

I grabbed his arm and took him aside.

"You are sleeping on the floor tonight." I whispered. "Just because you are in my body doesn't mean you are me! If you so much as touch her-"

"Arthur you do know who you are talking to?" He said somehow getting my face to do his stupid smile.

"Ah, Merlin could I have a word with you?" Gaius beckoned with his hand, and that's when Gwen came face to face with me her eye's on fire.

"You and I will have to have a serious talk about this later. Right now we don't want to raise suspicion but when this is over. You just be ready."

"…" I honestly had nothing to say.

Shortly after this we said our goodnights and Merlin quickly went to his room to "tidy it up a bit for you" was what he said, then we all went to bed for the night. I felt terribly uncomfortable on Merlin's cot; I dare not call it a bed. It surprisingly took me no time at all to fall asleep, all the days excitement exhausted I'm sure all of us.

I distinctly remember my last thought before slumber being. "What will the marrow bring?"


	6. Chapter 6: A long morning

Merlin's Mumble's

Chapter 6: A long morning

When I awoke the next morning it was early, I tried to will myself back to sleep but couldn't. It was still dark outside and there was no bird song, so I got off of the cot and went down to the main room quietly as not to wake Gaius. I lit a candle, washed, and didn't feel hungry so I set back to the smelly old books. A while later when the sun was just beginning to shine and the birds sing Gaius awoke and was surprised to see me hunched in a chair reading.

"Gaius look at this, I couldn't wait for you to see what I found!" I exclaimed once I noticed he was awake.

"I trust you slept well your majesty?"

"As well as I could, Merlin's body wouldn't let me sleep for too long." I complained. Of course it just could have been all of the excitement and trouble that was swirling around in my mind… but I prefer to blame Merlin.

"I hardly doubt that it's Merlin's body's fault sire… Now what is it you wanted me to see?"

"Here" I handed him the book.

"Ah!" He yelled his eye brows reaching his hairline.

"I need you to go to the library and get me two books, _the history of Siegen_ and the _trial of Sir Denham of Gareth._

"I open my mouth to ask if I could get a bite to eat feeling a bit hungry but he said "Now off with you!"

I was beginning to get very annoyed with him treating me like Merlin but decided my energy would be better spent tracking down the books and facing this the second day of being in Merlin's body.

As I made my way to the Library there where many people greeting me with good mornings and hellos; Nobles and Servants alike, they even knew Merlin's name! Again something about Merlin surprised me. How and why all of them acknowledged and seemed to know him was befalling. Not to say that he shouldn't be noticed and liked but…

"Good morning Merlin where are you off to so early?" A bright eyed young man around my own age asked.

"An errand for Gaius."

"Well just make sure you aren't late for with the royal breakfast you know how the King can be…"

"What do you mean?"

"I see, your head must me damage because of all the goblets thrown at it. I sympathize with you. Well don't want to keep you!" He said with a spring in his step and was off.

When I reached the Library I expected Geoffrey to be helpful in finding the two books but when he saw me, or father Merlin he gave me a_ look_.

"Now what do you want so early in here Merlin?"

"Gaius sent me for some books, _the history of Siegen_ and the _trial of Sir Denham of Gareth._

He stared at me for a moment and then said, "I won't help you."

"What why?" I was taken aback.

"You are always up to some sort of mischief when you come in here; for Gaius or not I won't help you! It is much too early for your shenanigans!"

"Mischief?" Clearly Merlin had upset the man more times than he should have. I had to search the shelves myself to find the books and that took longer than it would have so needless to say I was late with the royal breakfast.

Guinevere barely uttered a "Good morning Arthur" to me and Merlin was too quiet.

"What is it Merlin? You are being too quiet and that usually means you're using that head of yours and that's never a good thing" I mocked.

"Arthur, I tried to tell you last night but I have to give a demonstration of my, or rather your swordsman's ship.

"WHAT?"

"I tried to tell you but you just told me to shut up and good to bed!"

"Well this is it; my Kingdom is going to be laughed at because Merlin the only citizen in all of Camelot who couldn't learn to use a sword is in my body!" I slumped down on to my bed.

"I'll figure it out somehow-"

"No! You have to conceal it! Say you ate something bad for breakfast and you can't fight." I was desperate by this point. There was no way he could stand against whoever his opponent was because surly King Adelmund brought his best to pitied against _ME_ not him!

"Arthur-"Gwen said, but then there was a knock at the door.

I went to get it and there stood a page.

"Oh hello Merlin! If you aren't too busy King Adelmund requests your presence.

I looked back at Gwen then to Merlin and sighted and left for his royal rudeness guest chambers.

When I arrived I stood quietly watching his manservant bustle about the chambers. It was several minutes before the king even said anything to me.

"Merlin that little mistake last night cannot happen again! Do you want to make your king who is already beginning his reign so foolishly look even more so?"

"No." My jaw was tight I could barely speak for the anger that was rising inside of me. I could tell he noticed my distaste of his words and he smirked.

"I am sure you still have much work ahead of you today so be off."

I bowed and left. I went to Gaius with the books because it had already been so long since he sent me to retrieve them; I had not set two feet into the room before he began ordering me around.

"Mer- I mean Sire, hand me that yellow bottle over there."

And so we set to the books again for a while until that afternoon when I had to help Merlin into my armor.

"Arthur I don't know if I can do this, you know pull this off?" He whispered to me.

"Just remember what I taught you." I tried to sound confidant.

"And what was that again?"

After hearing this I was so sure King Adelmund would not want to associate with Camelot any more.


	7. Chapter 7: Pointing Fingers

Merlin's Mumbles

Chapter 7: Pointing fingers

It seemed like a particularly hot afternoon, but thinking back it must of seemed that way because I was so nervous. We were all out on the training grounds, Merlin seemed to look confidant enough and when I stepped aside to stand where the rest of the onlookers where standing in a crescent like formation; Gaius quickly ran up to him and whispered something to him. Merlin's face faltered and then he nodded and swallowed hard. I made my way over to Gaius to ask what he had said.

"Gaius what was that just then?"

"Um, well, I was telling him that I found the cause and the antidote."

"That's excellent! What is it?"

"Not here sire there are too many ears to hear, come to me after the match." He then walked away.

My stomach dropped and my mouth got dry. I always thought I performed well under pressure but clearly when certain things are in place such as being out of my own body, almost getting my real head chopped off and being extremely hungry having gained a faster metabolic rate can cause me to faint.

No. I don't remember fainting but when I came to I was on the sick cot in Gaius' chambers. I sat up slowly and my, or rather Merlin's stomach growled loudly.

"You fainted Sire. It seems to have nothing to do with magic, just hunger." Were Gaius' mocking words.

"Right, I never ate…" I put my head in my hands and sighed.

"Why dose Merlin have to be so skinny, I'm sure if he had a little more fat on him he wouldn't have to eat so often!" I complained

"Merlin! What happed?"

I suddenly realized that the match was over and I never saw the outcome. Suddenly in came Gwen followed by Merlin, their faces concerned.

"Are you alright?" Asked my lovely wife, it was refreshing to have her concerned for me rather than angry.

"Yes I seemed to have grown faint do to hunger."

"You aren't feeding me!?" Merlin exclaimed dramatically with a smile.

"If anyone should be starved it should be you." He said.

"That's pure muscle there _Merlin_, like you would know anything about that since you have chicken bones for arms!" I retorted.

"Well…" Gwen said.

"You too!" I laughed. "You seem awfully cheerful, what happened?"

"I won!"

"WHAT?"

"Well don't be happy for me, I mean you!" He frowned.

"How?"

"Um… Magic?"

"_Merlin _Don't even joke considering the state we're in; he couldn't have been that easily defeated!"

"Well I won and that's all that matters."

I laid back down feeling weak and Merlin's stomach made another strange sound.

"You need to eat Sire." Were Gaius' words.

And I did, food never tasted so good. But still I cannot believe that Merlin, _Merlin _defeated that man! Last thing I remember was him being able to barely hold the man off. I still wish I could have witnessed it for myself.

It was after the meal that Gaius told us what he found, me having lead him down the right path in the first place.

"It was a combination of a potion and spell that lead to this" He gestured between the two of us.

"It had to be administered directly, there is no way you could have not noticed it unless it was slipped into your food."

"My food-"

"Yes. The person who did this must have known that Gwen was not to have breakfast with you because this was a proximity spell, meaning they had to be the closes person to you after you took the potion and say the incantation having already taken their half of it in order for the transference to take place."

"So how did Mer-"

"I didn't do it! I didn't use magic, I didn't make a wish! I didn't even pick off of your plate like I usually do when I bring you food!"

"Then how is this possible Gaius?" asked Gwen, the question we all were asking.

"The person who did this had to be nearby, but something went wrong because this spell should have only lasted a day. Are you certain you didn't eat Arthur's breakfast?"

"Yes Gaius, I only cleaned up the klutz's spilled milk and-"

"That would do it! It must have been in the milk!" Gaius said, deep in thought.

"Since Merlin was the nearest who had also been in contact with the portion it acted on him instead of the intended."

"Wow, imagine if Gwen had breakfast with you instead of with Elyen-" Merlin started. I quickly cut him off.

"Alright we get the picture."

"So does this mean they work in the kitchens?" Asked Gwen.

"Not necessarily. This person could have done it any time before Merlin picked up the tray. Still this should have only lasted a day, they mucked it up."

"So it was bungled?" I asked and as the words left my mouth my eyes landed harshly on Merlin.

"YOU!" I pointed my finger.

"Me?"

"You and your mumbling! Everyone looked to Merlin.

"This all points to you! You knew Guinevere wasn't to have breakfast with me, you hand the opportunity with my food and you mumble something and made a wish when you where cleaning up the milk!"

"Arthur that wish was just a coincidence." He defended.

"Well, let's not forget the fact that there is no one who could bungle something like this except you! It's been two days and it should only have lasted one!"

By this point I was yelling at the top of my lungs.

Merlin's mouth opened and closed like a fish. He said nothing.

"Sire, even though the evidence points in his direction-"

"I would never do a thing to harm you!" Merlin broke in, his voice quivered. "All I've ever done is support you and fallow your lead Arthur."

His expression was an injured one, and it was my turn to open and close my mouth like a fish, for I had been a fool to cast the blame on to him so quickly. He stared at me for a long while and when I said nothing he turned and left. The whole room was quiet and loud at the same time.

I shouldn't have said that to him, what would his motive be? Even though he did an exceptional job pretending to be me he wouldn't do this, he was Merlin after all. And even though he knew more about the technical side of magic then I, having helped Gaius on numerous occasions, he could never use it, Merlin with magic was the most ridiculous thought ever!

The rest of the day was miserable. Gwen was angry with me once more and Gaius was added to the list. I also had to do chores. The worst of them was cleaning out the leach tank and mucking out the stables. But on a brighter side Gaius said he could make a draft that would flush the rest of the potion out from our bodies, but it would take a couple of days to brew, of course, and by that time we may already be ourselves once more he said. But I didn't want to take any chances and had him brew it anyway.


	8. Chapter 8: Poo on me and poo on you!

Merlin's Mumbles

Chapter 8: Poo on me and poo on you!

The rest of that day blew by fine enough… Merlin and I didn't speak much unless necessary and I fallowed him around like a dog as he would have me, had we been in our rightful places. I ended up only having one more "encounter" with his royal rudeness that day and went to bed or should I say cot exhausted.

When I awoke on the third day I was needless to say still within Merlin's body as I was sure he was still in mine. I greeted Gaius with a good morning to which I got a grunt in reply. Obviously he was still angry at my outburst the previous day. I didn't mean to upset everybody so much but I had 80% proof that it was Merlin who had done this; I wouldn't have taken him to trial at 80%, honestly… But I was defiantly under the impression that someone was trying to frame Merlin, he after all looked guilty and all of the evidence we had pointed to him. But why Merlin? It's not like he's anyone special, he isn't an important figure in Camelot that was what baffled me. It wasn't as if the destiny of the whole kingdom rested on his scrawny shoulders! It all rested on mine, so they must have had a plan that got all buggered up and it must have been that Merlin was just so talented to get mixed up in it the way he did.

When I brought the royal breakfast I apologized with Gwen as my witness to Merlin and all was well in the land with exception being we still had visiting "guest". I went about my chores, cleaning the fire place empting a nasty basin out the window and fluffing my pillows while chattering on with my wife and Merlin about what was to be done that day and how it was to be done. And we discussed the matter of the potion Gaius had been brewing for us and I also mentioned that the patrol was to be back that morning he would have to get their report. When I said this Merlin choked on a sausage.

"A-Arthur, I am having a bad feeling about this"

"How so?"

" Sum it up in one word?"

"Yes Mer_lin_."

"Gawain".

"What do you mean?" Guinevere asked just as puzzled as I. What would Gawain have to do with anything? After all he would be heading for the nearest tavern after reporting back to his king anyway, is what crossed my mind, but as I always seem to learn when going through such situation with Merlin, he actually has some valid points and insights and can be knowledgeable about random things like Gawain. Had I the patience then to hear him out I could have avoided a bit of trouble.

"He might figure out that we aren't exactly who we claim to be."

"Merlin's right, Gawain dose have a sharp eye."

"Well then it's a good thing we actually _look_ like who we are supposed to be." I said while leaving to do the laundry with a smile.

Laundry done and hanging to dry, me quite proud of myself for a job well done I went to tackle the next task, mucking out the stables, and by this time it was approaching noon, and Merlin would soon be having to give King Adelmound a tour of the lower town and all its wonders, only to be scrutinized and picked apart with his ever disapproving eyes. I imagined that the horse dung that I was clearing out was him and soon he would be gone just like it and all of Camelot would be the better for it, if not smell the better for it.

After I finished I was on my way back to Merlin's chambers to change because there was no way I was going to be smelling like that for the rest of the day and who should I run into on my way there, poo on my face and all? Yes king Adelmund and I just so happened to get poo on him as well, not much but some.

I was quickly rounding a corner because I didn't want to miss the tour of the lower town and that's when it happened.

"Uh! You idiot! Must you ruin my entire wardrobe?" he exclaimed.

I bit my lip and bowed low apologizing profusely and muttering something about cleaning it to make it good as new. Really I was surprisingly fitting in the role of servant snug.

This I won't forget, but he grabbed me by my collar and slammed my back into the wall and glared down at me. He was a very tall man by the way, which I think I failed to mention, but really it doesn't matter.

"You are a disgrace to your king and should be thrown from your post! One you clearly aren't capable of handling!"

I was just about to sock him on the nose when none other than Gawain's voice was heard.

"Sire is there a problem here?"

I was released and he stormed off not even answering Gawain.

"Well at least some things never change" He stated with a wide grin and walked over to pat me on my shoulder.

"Hello Merlin, you getting in to trouble with royals again?"

"Yah… you know me." I smiled and I don't think I was ever happier in seeing Gawain with the only exception's being when we were in some fight for our lives.

"So, I see you've kept Camelot safe while I was gone, where are you off to in such a hurry I was trying to catch up with you when you ran into King Grumpy pants.

"Ah, to change, I have to join the royal party for the tour of the lower town, you know standard stuff." Because this is how Merlin would have responded right?

"Well I suppose I can't get you to shirk your duties even just a little to join me at the tavern for a bit?"

I was at a loss for a response because Merlin often visited the tavern correct? And He was probably with Gawain some of those times correct? So If I said "no" would that be unusual? Or would "yes" be the right answer?

I opened and closed my mouth.

"Are you alright mate?"

"Um…" Gulp "Yah, yah, just I really shouldn't mess around at a time like this. Arthur needs me on my best behavior and so far I've done a bang up job were it concerns King Adelmound."

"Has that basta-"

"Gawain really it's all right I'm fine!"

I could tell Gawain was about to go off on one of his rants about royals and their cushy little bottoms and how they were never fair and let me go give him a piece of my mind, or sword!

"I really have to go… so I'll be seeing you later."

And I left him there in the hall obviously discontented. Man could he be protective of Merlin. Which I suppose is a good thing. Merlin needs looking after a lot and I am not always going to be there.


	9. Chapter 9: Childish

Merlin's Mumbles

Chapter 9: Childish

During the tour of the lower town I kept as far from his royal rudeness fallowing behind Merlin. His description of the fair land that was Camelot was very eloquent and there was real pride in his voice.

"Yes well I can see that you love your land very much." Was what King Adelmund began his words with.

"Your father was a great King, one of the best. It is his belief that you would become a greater king even than he that has me here Arthur. I want to observe the early days of you reign."

I was surprised to hear him speak so highly of my father and to hear that my father believed in me.

"My father was a great man indeed…" Merlin sounded conflicted, almost choke up. I knew he wasn't fond of my father (nor my father of him…) but what was that?

Still the visiting King surprised me with having nothing negative to say about the lower town or its people. The whole tour was actually pleasant, which led me to believe the rest of that day would be so.

I finished sharpening my sword and checked on Gaius' brew before I had another "encounter".

I was in my chambers going over some paperwork slouching in my chair at my desk and Merlin was getting the fire ready for it was proving to be a rather chilly night being the beginning of spring; there was a knock at the door and Merlin and I looked at each other frozen for a moment when we both of us dived to switch places, Merlin looking over papers and I tending the fire. There was another knock.

"Enter!" Merlin called. And in came that bright eyed servant who had warned me about delivering the royal breakfast late.

"Sire, his majesty King Adelmound request your manservant's assistance."  
Merlin raised his eyebrow in question. I stood to prepare to leave.

"Just a moment Mer_lin_." He said

I stopped and looked at him.

"Did he specify what kind of _assistance_ he would be needing from Merlin?"

"The young man seemed suddenly flustered and stammered.

"W- w-Well not exactly my lord. He did grumble something about Horse feces and…" The man trailed off.

"And?" Merlin asked.

"And Merlin being a clumsy idiot… sire, his words exact." He whispered.

"Merlin?" He gave me a questioning look.

I did what he usually did in those situations; smiled wide and rushed out the door.

I slowed my pace once out of sight; I was in no hurry to see the man again. It must have been because I was in Merlin's body that those things kept happening to me! He always seemed to be in some sort of trouble and when did he get to be so cool and collected? He was taking on his role as me in strides while I without trying in the least was possible a worse servant then he! Which if I ever asked I am sure he would agree… not that I _ever_ would.

Any way the bright eyed servant caught up to me and that made we wonder why he had been sent to fetch me.

"What exactly did you do this time?" he inquired cautiously.

"I, well I ruined another of his garments after I came in from mucking out the royal stables." I was certain he had already heard about the wine.

"Well I hope this doesn't turn out to bad for you, you know how visiting royals can be. He patted my shoulder then turned down another corridor.

When I finally entered his guest chambers I was this time immediately acknowledged.

"You fool!" He yelled the moment he laid eyes on me approaching me threateningly, I reached for my sword instinctually but of course it was not there.

"We already had this conversation before and I don't like to repeat myself." He growled to my face, his breath smelling of wine.

"For give me I didn't mean-"

"Of course not you never mean to do any of these things, but you always do!"

The man lectured me for the better part of an hour going on and on about what was acceptable behavior and what wasn't. I stood in one place my feat hurting while he paced back and forth in front of me.

"The hour is getting late; you should tend to King Arthur."

"Yes." I bowed and moved towards the door when he caught my upper right arm with his strong hand. He gripped it so tight it was painful. I gritted my teeth.

"I need not tell you what will happen if you fail once more." He glared down at me and then shoved me towards the door. I wanted to hit him! I wanted to knock him hard in his face! But that would only make things worse. I left my arm pulsating with pain and anger raging.

"What's wrong?" Gwen asked when I entered my chambers and stared at her and Merlin. I closed the doors behind me and began pacing in front of the fire place. The fire was burning so that meant that Merlin had obviously finished building it.

I ignored them and kept pacing, after a while I stood staring into the flames.

"Arthur?" Gwen said resting her hand on my arm, the arm that was still very much sore. Before I could think to hide my injury I winced.

"What is it?" She frowned.

Merlin was at my side in a second both having concerned expressions.

"What did he do?" He asked in a low voice.

"It's nothing-"

"Arthur!" He said.

I then gave them a complete account of all of my encounters with the man known as King Adelmound.

"Why didn't you say something before? I knew something was up." He complained.

"How could you know?" I asked annoyed.

"He's a visiting royal Arthur what more do I need to know?"

"Merlin, Arthur doesn't understand." And she was correct, I didn't understand!

"He's never been in well "your" situation before."

"Alright what are the two of you talking about?" I wanted someone to explain to me because this wasn't the first I heard of this and still I hadn't the faintest idea what they were referring to and it was only putting me in a darker mood.

"Let me see you, my arm." Merlin commanded.

His commanding tone made me want to punch him.

"Arthur…" Gwen unlike Merlin only needed to look at me to know what I felt like doing, even if I was in another man's body she could tell.

"No!" I was just being childish at that point and wanted some control because I had, had enough!

"Show me". He commanded in _My_ commanding voice! He was not ME!

"I said no, I can refuse if I so please! I am the King after all _not you!_"

There was a sound somewhere in the hall , it sounded as if someone fell then began to run off.

I quickly opened the chamber doors to see who but they were already gone.

"Great." Merlin sighed.

"What if someone heard?" Guinevere said hand over her mouth and deeply distressed.


	10. Chapter 10: Laundry day

Merlin's Mumbles

Chapter 10: Laundry day

The next day was as expected; I once more awoke not in my own chambers not in my own bed and most defiantly not in my own body! It was the fourth day and still no change and the first thing on my list to do was to ask if the "cure" was done brewing.

"No sire, I'm afraid this will take a few more days to brew and-"

"How many again Gaius?"

"Let me see…" He trailed off and began to count on his fingers.

"Four, yes four days and who knows you could be yourself by tomorrow!"

"Four more days Gaius do you think I could fake Ill for the next four days?"

"Why ever would you want to do that?" He looked very puzzled.

It was probably because he was so used to me being brave and facing my problems head on, that the thought that I would ever run away had never crossed his mind. I myself was amazed that the words had crossed my lips. Once again here I blame this on Merlin's body.

"It's just I really don't want to run into king Adelmound."

There was a knock at the door and we both looked at it then each other.

"Yes come in." Gaius said.

And in came King Adelmound's Personal manservant. The man was tall and skinny like Merlin, with dark brown hair and eyes. Unlike Merlin he hardly ever spoke and was always very proper and "stiff" like. He lacked that spark in his eye that let you know someone was alive. I didn't know whether to pity him or to fear him.

"King Adelmound requires your presence as soon as possible."

I sighed loudly and said "What does his angriness want this time!" I whined.

Gaius cleared his throat, obviously trying to remind me that saying such things out loud were not acceptable and especially not in front of the king's manservant.

The man gave a quick bow and left.

"You must be careful!" Gaius reprimanded.

"Forgive me Gaius, It's just I have had about enough of that man." I said lifting my night shirt sleeve and checking on my bruised arm.

"What happened?"

"His angriness!"

Gaius looked deep in thought, his eye brow raised.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Come over here and let me treat it."

He put a smelly oily substance on it and then wrapped it tenderly in gauze.

"I better get dressed and go, who knows what kind of mood he'll be in If I take too long."

When I was dressed and on my way out Gaius stopped me and put a sandwich in my hand. I smiled at him; he would have made a great father had he ever started a family.

"Thank you Gaius."

"You really should start wearing a neckerchief."

"A what?"

"Merlin always wears neckerchiefs around his neck." he gestured with his hands.

"Oh you mean that scratchy little rag? I don't like them, they're uncomfortable."

"Yes well Merlin dose."

"I'll put one on later I don't want to take much longer."

I only mention this because it would come to bite me in my rear end later on that day.

Upon entering "His" guest chambers I was met with a basket. And in it where two items, two shirts, one soiled with wine the other horse poo.

"You will clean both of those items and bring them to me by the end of the day. If they are not in perfect condition I will talk to King Arthur about replacing you."

Like hell I was going to re-place Merlin because of anything that man would say!

"Do you understand!" He shouted bringing me out of my angry thoughts.

"Yes sire." I bowed, picked up the basket and left for the laundry rooms.

I am pleased to say that getting the horse dung out was extremely easy. Gwen would have been proud. The laundry rooms smelled of various cleaning aids and perfumes like lemon and roses. I hardly ever visited the place in my life but as a young boy I had explored and been there once or twice. The large vats of boiling water always seemed to fascinate me, but it was a rather sticky place from all of the steam. No matter how hot the water was it wouldn't remove the wine stain. After wringing and hanging the garments to dry I went to fetch the royal breakfast and ask Gwen's advice on getting the stain out.

"Arthur, that's impossible."

"It won't come out?"

"No, and especially after so many days."

"But I've had shirts with wine on them before and they always came back good as new when washed."

"Well…" She trailed off

"What?" I asked.

"Arthur, since you have no idea of the inner workings of the operation, I'll share a secret with you." Merlin chimed in.

"When someone as important as you gets his clothes sullied with, let's use wine for an example, we dye the shirt a darker color like black or red, and send for another identical one to be made so essentially it looks and feels like the original shirt but it is not.

"Well then could you make one Gwen?"

Surly someone who was as talented as Gwen could make one in a day, it was still early yet.

"I'll try, but you'll have to bring me the original to use as a pattern."

And I had done it! I was going to show him!


	11. Chapter 11: Discovered

Merlin's Mumbles

Chapter 11: Discovered

Checking on the antidote became a habit of mine; one I'm sure Gaius was not fond of, but my strength was renewed and needless to say I was in a far better mood once I had figured out how to beat King Adelmound, he wasn't going to win this bout, he would have a new shirt and I would keep my, or rather Merlin's job.

The strange feeling of waking up in his body every day was becoming less and less strange, that frightened me, it meant I was adapting, getting used to being there as I'm sure he was. I was pondering these things when I found that my feet had wondered to the training grounds and it was the clashing of swords and clanging of shields that brought me out of my thoughts.

It must have been habit that brought me there and it wasn't long before Gawain approached me.

"Merlin what are you doing here?" he asked jogging over.

"Is that jerk of a king bothering you again?" It never ceased to amaze me how openly he voiced his disgust of someone or something. His lack of respect (thought I agree that king Adelmound didn't deserve much anyway) was unrivaled by anyone in all of the five kingdoms! Always saying things, uncouth things where any ear could hear.

"N, no I, I just sort of um. Right you are all training." I was once again making a fool of myself, but at least I was in Merlin's body and that made it somewhat alright.

"You looking for Arthur?" He frowned.

Sir Leon had taken over training while I had "guest" visiting, like he always had, and me being set in my ways had come out to the training grounds like a fool for no reason. Merlin would have known I wasn't to be found here!

"Ah, no he's not here I was just taking a stroll."

At this point I knew I had fumbled my words too much.

"You never have time for a "stroll' and the most disturbing evidence that you aren't yourself is plain as day. You're not wearing it"

"Wearing what?"

"Your Neckerchief!"

"My wha- Oh! Well they're all dirty I need to wash them."

I thought that my explanation was a perfectly good one but Gawain only deepened his frown and I wanted to get out from underneath it so I turned and left.

Once out of sight I breathed a sigh of relief, Gawain could be so irritating! It made me wonder why Merlin was friends with him, Merlin could be equally if not more irritating than Gawain sometimes, but what does that say about me being friends, best friends even with Merlin? The things you think about when not in your own body… For example, Gwen, I couldn't see her as often as I wanted and I defiantly couldn't touch her. I had made a list of things I was going to do, you could gauss what was at the top of it, when I got my own body back.

That evening came sooner than I liked it to. When I was on my way to my chambers to pick up the shirt I was met with an interesting sight; Merlin was pinning the bright eyed servant against my bed post, a very angry glare on his face.

"Wha-?" I stammered

He gave him a hard shove and stepped a little away from the man.

"It would seem I discovered the person responsible for this" He said gesturing between us.

The young man's bright eyes were open wide and there was a sweat on his brow.

"So-." I said closing the distance between the man and I and was blocked by Merlin suddenly.

"Just stay there." He said, then went and quickly closed the doors.

"Now Arthur, we have to keep our heads."

"This man, this _Sorcerer_, has wronged us! He has attempted to take my kingdom from me!"

"We have to figure out what to do with him." Came Merlin's now calm voice. Suddenly I was awash with anger, and I spun on him, he had been standing behind me.

"Figure out! There is nothing to figure out!" I shouted. Then he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Sire, we have to think about how best to handle this situation, and keep at the very top of our minds the guest that is currently here." He gave me a knowing look. And that was all it took for me to deflate almost completely.

"Yes of course, Have him thrown in the dungeon and place him under heavy guard. Do as it secretly as possible. " I ordered staring the young man down

. Who clearly knew he had made the worst mistake of his life.


	12. Chapter 12: it won't work

Merlin's Mumbles

Chapter 12: It won't work

After impressing his royal rudeness with two perfect shirts I went to the dungeons to interrogate the prisoner following Merlin to stay in character. He had followed my instructions and had the man under heavy guard, I was glad, you never knew what was going on in Sorcerer's heads and I didn't want to take any chances, this man had single handily almost taken over my Kingdom if it weren't for my extremely rare clumsiness and Merlin's being in the right place at the wrong time!

Merlin's face was serious, jaw set tight and shoulder's stiff, I found myself admiring him for taking on the challenge of being me so well. When we got to the cell in the farthest part of the dungeon we found the man sitting hunched in a corner of his cell barely visible in the dim light, but his eyes, his eyes were wide open and in deep distress.

"Go on then what do you have to say in your defense?" I queried; he just kept staring at me, and didn't say a word.

"Say something!" I shouted not caring if the guards who were a little ways away could hear and wondered why the king's manservant was interrogating a prisoner.

He opened his mouth but no words came out. Merlin and I both looked at each other in puzzlement.

"In a few more days your guest will have moved on and we can_** deal**_ with him then." Merlin suggested.

"I suppose it would make everything less complicated if Adelmound was not to find out about this latest attack on my kingdom no less in the very heart of it." I sighted and pinched the bridge of my nose hoping it would make my brain feel less painful.

The man behind the bars began to crawl towards us on his hands and knees very slowly and seemingly painfully. When he reached us he began to write in the heavy straw dust that covered the floor.

"What are you doing?" I questioned in a whisper.

He looked up at me biting his bottom lip then looked over to merlin then began writing again, but Merlin kicked the bars of the cell roughly and shouted startling me and the sorcerer "You had your chance to say something! You're done for, how dare you try to take my king's throne!" he hissed this last part quietly, probably not wanting the guards to overhear.

Merlin turned to leave and I watched him go but before I did I looked back at the strange sorcerer before me. His eyes were pleading and never once did his stare on me waver, just then I heard my angry voice call me.

"Merlin!" I hurried along mind too full of the last couple of days to reprimand Merlin for speaking to me like he was calling a dog.

"Did you have him beat?" I asked when I caught up to him.

He looked over to me with a strange expression.

"No? Why would I do that? Did you want me to?"

"No it's just that he seemed to be in pain."

"Hmmmm." Was his response.

"How did you find out it was him?"

"When I came back to your chambers with the finished shirt I found him poisoning your writing Quill."

"My writing Quill?"

"Yes, I confronted him about it right away and once he knew he was caught he began to speak all manners of treason against you then drew a knight on me."

I stopped in my steps shock hitting me as if I had run into a wall.

"Are you alright?" I asked looking Merlin up and down, because Merlin may be the bravest man I know but put him in a fight and he's more likely to hurt himself than anyone else.

"Yes, I'm fine thank you. It was actually your body that saved me; you have a very developed muscular figure."  
This he said with a smile that sort of made me uncomfortable and I didn't know how to respond so I said "That's good."

The next day next morning I popped out of bed, or should I say cot, and went straight to the sleeping Gaius to inquire about the brew.

"Gaius?" I whispered.

He stirred slightly.

"Wake up." I poked him.

"What is it Now Merlin? I hope you haven't gone and done something stupid again, I've told you millions of time before not to use your magic in front of Arthur." He said in a sleepy voice. Then opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Sire?"

"Yes?" I asked obviously looking puzzled.

"OH I must have been dreaming!" He exclaimed then quickly sat up and rubbed his face.

"Is there something you need?"

"Yes, the only thing I have been needing from you for the past couple of days! Is it done?"

"Let me see." He said yawning and slowly getting out of bed then waddling over to the small pot that had a constant heat under it via large candle, he had informed me it had to stay like that brewing for several days in a constant heat but It was taking forever.

"Humm" Came his voice from across the room, he fanned his hand over the pot towards his face attempting to catch its smell.

"Well best I can tell it will be ready probably by late afternoon?"

"How do you know?"

"Trust me if you've ever smelt toads dung you would know, I can promise it will be very flavorful." He gave a chuckle that didn't make me feel easy about drinking it at all.

I left shortly after having breakfast enjoying the man's company; the only thing good that came out of those dreadful days was getting to spend time with Gaius. He was one of the funniest people I know, but you really didn't want to make him mad, no you had to beware of the _**Eyebrow, **_but again I'm getting off on another bunny trail.

It was later on that morning when Gaius showed up in the royal chambers searching for me, a troubled look on his face. I was fluffing my pillows having just made my bed, a very lengthly task trust me.

"It's no good!" He exclaimed

"What?"

"The candle I don't know what happened, perhaps there was a breeze or maybe I, I don't know, but it went out and its gone cold, I only left it for an hour or two!"

"What are you saying Gaius?"

"That it won't work; I have to start over again."

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach realization dawning on me.


End file.
